I started the couch to 5k over again. It's the SS trainer doing workshops for it and so I'm being held accountable. Today was the first day and I was the only one doing the 5k and of course, forgot my stop watch so my SS trainer had to be with me the whole time- it was good in the way that I kept going and didn't give up, but I felt like a LOSER with how slow I am and she was nice enough to not say anything but this is the girl who can run a marathon in under 3 hours. It's been taking me 45 min to do 2 miles. LOSER. The idea at the end of this is to run the mother's day 5k, which I didn't know when i signed up and now that I do know.. I had a nightmare about it. Being last and everyone packing up and leaving, falling, losing my guts on the trail.. not even finishing the workshop to even DO the 5k. Obviously, most of this has got to be a mental hurdle to overcome? I don't want to be a runner, I just want to know that I can run and not feel like I'm going to die. I cheated in all my school years, i NEVER ran the full mile you were required. I hate that fact and I want to change that stigma I have in my head-that I can't run. I have to run two times on my own before next saturday, but my goal is to work out every day, and just incorporate that in.
So there it is. My fear and self-esteem in black and white.
You crack me up! I always felt like a looser in HS because I cheated, too!! I hear you about running, but GOOD for you to try! I am a walker, not a runner. :)
ReplyDeleteI so can hear myself in this! I am not a runner - but like emily I am a walker.
ReplyDeleteAh I'm so glad to hear I wasn't the only one that cheated in school! Haha! I'm pretty sure ya'll can walk past me jogging-its pretty slow..I definitely do not see myself continuing this but, hey-you never know!
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