I have had no desire to get on here and post anything, haha, how's that for an opening?
Things have just been so crazy around here, it's just "that time of year" and so much going on in my life that I can't post about(past experiences with posting the deepest of my heart coming around to stab me in the back because "so and so" perceived what I wrote in the wrong way) so I backed off and have been reflecting.
Which, again, I won't do here.
Currently I'm dealing with a cold that leaves me unable to taste anything, sleepy, and somewhat grouchy, ok a lot grouchy! Ella has a non-stop cough that makes me feel so bad for her, and somewhat annoyed with her(yes I know how wrong that is-but tis the truth!)
I found a project I wanted to work on, fabric bags w/ plastic liners for the kids lunches.
I'm not able to sew, I can sew something together, but the line is crooked and measurements are usually off center. So this project looked fairly simple. I enlisted the help of my mom, who gave me guidance and I went to work, it was coming together and looked similar to the picture on the tutorial until it was completed and it wasn't right.
I continue to try to fix it, adjust, and same result.
fail.
So I get my mom involved in it again and she is currently working on it now, so we'll see what she comes up with.
I love reading craft blogs, looking at tutorials and in my head I can do it.
In reality, I can't.
Frustrating!
Aubrey is on the quest of meeting a million question a day quota.
I try to answer as best as I can and as nicely as I can, but some days I, in exhaustion, cannot answer them.
I love that she is wanting to talk with me, ask me questions, but day after day after day from the moment she gets up to me trying to shut the door before she asks her next hundred in her bedroom, am ready for a break!
Kaylyn is ornery as ever-getting into everything at once to make one giant mess. Quietly, secretly hiding or chewing gum, and acting as innocent as ever when asked if she had any part in any of it.
Ella is battling the cough, and the fact that daily her preschool teachers tell me how wonderful she is. Obedient, helpful, kind, loving, cute-and she knows to turn it on when she walks in that preschool door, and to turn it off when she walks in our home. She has a very tender heart and says sorry immediately after disobeying, if only she could be obedient more at home, but I love that she is on her best behavior away from home, I'd rather have her be naughty to my face than behind my back.
Jaden is going through a phase as well, chewing up food and leaving it in his mouth for hours. I recently discovered this when he is starting to spew it an hour or so after breakfast/snack/lunch/dinner. Doesn't matter what it is, he stores it under his tongue, then releases after he's sucked the life out of it.
Makes.Me.Want.To.Barf.
He is tiny enough without this current phase and I hope it ends soon.
So gross.
We took him to get his haircut the other day and there was quite the handsome little man under the blond mass of hair. I just love his little face, especially when its not spewing food.
Josh is working on a dresser with my dad. They only do a little bit everyday, 3rd shifters don't have much other option, they are so tired but willingly working on this, as one of ours is falling apart, piece by piece. I can't wait until it is finished!
Hard to believe its the last month and a half of the year. It's been a year of ups and downs like always and my constant struggle is God first. The song Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing says it so perfectly
Prone to wander/Lord I feel it/Prone to leave the God I love
Why? Why do I want to leave Him and wander off into things that aren't good for me, that promotes selfishness, etc.?
My prayer and goal is to put Him first daily, to become more like Him, so that others might see Him in me.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Who's My Best Friend?
While I sat freezing in my chair at the soccer fields today, waiting for the games to start, I was thinking on some stuff I'd heard someone say and generally the gist was about God, who He is, what they believe about Him.
What do I believe?
I believe God was, is and always will be.
He is The Creator.
His ways are perfect.
He is infallible.
There is so much more to say about Him, I could go on literally forever, but basically what I'm trying to say is I believe there is none greater than Him.
All of that to say, when I started to think about Him, in all His reverence, I started to get convicted.
So I believe what His word, the Bible, tells me, but how do I apply that? How am I making Him a part of my every day life? Most importantly, is He first in my life?
If I want to be completely honest, I'd have to say no, He isn't right now.
I'm pained to admit that.
How is it that I've fallen so quickly and easily to the ways of the "ME".
Making sure I'm comfortable, and yet, I'm not completely comfortable. I feel the pull of spirit against flesh. My selfishness against His desires. How does a friend become a best friend? You spend time with them, get to know them. God knows all about me, but do I know all about Him? I"m sure if I did I wouldn't even need to ask the question.
Women's Bible study has started at church, we are now in a small group, and lots of time is spent with the girl's to memorize their verses for AWANA.
Memory verses.
The two words that strike an instant response in me. I grumble and complain.. I can't. It's too much to learn the girl's verses, verses for both Bible studies.
Is it really too much or am I just being lazy?
Lazy wins.
How better to know God, than to know His Word. To strengthen my walk with Him. To strike the enemy down with the armor of God.
Nothing is more powerful.
My walk with the Lord has been up and down, and while I'm more in the down position at the moment, my desire is to climb back up. Day by day. Minute by minute if need be.
And I will memorize my verses.
What do I believe?
I believe God was, is and always will be.
He is The Creator.
His ways are perfect.
He is infallible.
There is so much more to say about Him, I could go on literally forever, but basically what I'm trying to say is I believe there is none greater than Him.
All of that to say, when I started to think about Him, in all His reverence, I started to get convicted.
So I believe what His word, the Bible, tells me, but how do I apply that? How am I making Him a part of my every day life? Most importantly, is He first in my life?
If I want to be completely honest, I'd have to say no, He isn't right now.
I'm pained to admit that.
How is it that I've fallen so quickly and easily to the ways of the "ME".
Making sure I'm comfortable, and yet, I'm not completely comfortable. I feel the pull of spirit against flesh. My selfishness against His desires. How does a friend become a best friend? You spend time with them, get to know them. God knows all about me, but do I know all about Him? I"m sure if I did I wouldn't even need to ask the question.
Women's Bible study has started at church, we are now in a small group, and lots of time is spent with the girl's to memorize their verses for AWANA.
Memory verses.
The two words that strike an instant response in me. I grumble and complain.. I can't. It's too much to learn the girl's verses, verses for both Bible studies.
Is it really too much or am I just being lazy?
Lazy wins.
How better to know God, than to know His Word. To strengthen my walk with Him. To strike the enemy down with the armor of God.
Nothing is more powerful.
My walk with the Lord has been up and down, and while I'm more in the down position at the moment, my desire is to climb back up. Day by day. Minute by minute if need be.
And I will memorize my verses.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
One of those days...
Today can definitely be classified as "one of those days"
Didn't get much sleep last night. We've had trouble with Aubrey staying asleep, in her bed lately. Last night was no different other than the fact that she did say her head hurt, but I hear so many excuses like that I sleepily blew her off and made her go back to her own bed quite a few times.
When it was finally an acceptable hour I got myself to wake up more and figure out if the complaints had merit.
She had a fever of 102.
As much as I wanted to give a lecture about crying wolf, I couldn't. So I got the Tylenol, the bottle of water, and snuggled her up in her bed while I got everyone else ready for the day.
Today was also bible study at the church for me and I went back and forth on whether to forget it or see if Josh would willingly stay up so I could go(he doesn't work tonight so its not unheard of for him to stay up on Tuesday's-just in case you think me heartless :P)
He said he plenty of outside work to do so for me to go and he would care for Aubrey.
I still felt guilty about leaving her.
While dropping off Kaylyn and Ella at school I realized I had book fair duty today-one hour after bible study.
So I get out of church, race to pick up Ella, get home, get lunch, see Aubrey and Josh grabs the flashlight to check her throat-shows me the dreaded white spots.
So as I scarf lunch I sit on hold with the dr.'s office to get her in, have to leave so hand it off to Josh and get all the updates via text.
Once again, feeling guilty.
Josh takes her in and she does in fact have strep.
I feel more guilty.
Kaylyn and I go home from school, and now its the dinner rush.
Knock, knock!
Our backyard neighbor asks if I noticed the back side of their fence. Well, no I say, because it sits behind our garage so I can't say I've ever seen it. Well, my daughter and her friend's name are all over it.. in chalk. They were out there last night, so I'm none too happy, and neither is the neighbor. I let her know it will get cleaned up and grab a bucket and towel. No hose will stretch back that far, and the daughter is sick, so I'm up to bat on this one.
yay.
So I finish that lovely task, finish dinner, clean up, get everyone ready for AWANA and send Kaylyn and Ella with Josh.
I can tell you without hesitation I swapped my clothes for pjs and set out to do the rest of the cleaning and am now enjoying a piece of key lime pie while writing this and listening to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in the background.
Apparently while you are sick you watch Christmas movies.
Good night.
Didn't get much sleep last night. We've had trouble with Aubrey staying asleep, in her bed lately. Last night was no different other than the fact that she did say her head hurt, but I hear so many excuses like that I sleepily blew her off and made her go back to her own bed quite a few times.
When it was finally an acceptable hour I got myself to wake up more and figure out if the complaints had merit.
She had a fever of 102.
As much as I wanted to give a lecture about crying wolf, I couldn't. So I got the Tylenol, the bottle of water, and snuggled her up in her bed while I got everyone else ready for the day.
Today was also bible study at the church for me and I went back and forth on whether to forget it or see if Josh would willingly stay up so I could go(he doesn't work tonight so its not unheard of for him to stay up on Tuesday's-just in case you think me heartless :P)
He said he plenty of outside work to do so for me to go and he would care for Aubrey.
I still felt guilty about leaving her.
While dropping off Kaylyn and Ella at school I realized I had book fair duty today-one hour after bible study.
So I get out of church, race to pick up Ella, get home, get lunch, see Aubrey and Josh grabs the flashlight to check her throat-shows me the dreaded white spots.
So as I scarf lunch I sit on hold with the dr.'s office to get her in, have to leave so hand it off to Josh and get all the updates via text.
Once again, feeling guilty.
Josh takes her in and she does in fact have strep.
I feel more guilty.
Kaylyn and I go home from school, and now its the dinner rush.
Knock, knock!
Our backyard neighbor asks if I noticed the back side of their fence. Well, no I say, because it sits behind our garage so I can't say I've ever seen it. Well, my daughter and her friend's name are all over it.. in chalk. They were out there last night, so I'm none too happy, and neither is the neighbor. I let her know it will get cleaned up and grab a bucket and towel. No hose will stretch back that far, and the daughter is sick, so I'm up to bat on this one.
yay.
So I finish that lovely task, finish dinner, clean up, get everyone ready for AWANA and send Kaylyn and Ella with Josh.
I can tell you without hesitation I swapped my clothes for pjs and set out to do the rest of the cleaning and am now enjoying a piece of key lime pie while writing this and listening to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in the background.
Apparently while you are sick you watch Christmas movies.
Good night.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
New Bible Study
Started a new Bible Study today at church, I'm really feeling that this was for me, at exactly this moment in time.
Entrusted with a Child's Heart.
I have felt this total shift in dealing with the kids daily, that control is lost, discipline is rampant, punishment is given, yet they never seem to care or feel the full weight of what was done was wrong, so learn from that and don't do it again. It's like running on a treadmill. We do the same stuff day in and out, but we never get anywhere. I'm frustrated and spent, kids are thinking they can do whatever they want, shouting, stomping, crying.. I feel like every day we lose a little more.. one step forward, 10 steps back.
Just hearing from some that have taken the study, I am so ready, and prepared for hurdles, to jump in. I want this family to turn around from the path and direction and get going the other direction-the RIGHT direction, GOD'S direction. I want us to be breathing the word of God and its just not happening now-but all that WILL change.
More to come on that for sure, as we delve into the study each week.
We are also going to be attending small group with other couples in the church, that starts tomorrow night.
Really looking forward to more fellowship with those that are like-minded, have the same goals. Or hey, how about just fellowship period. I'll be honest, we don't get out much. I have felt the need for accountability, a shoulder to share and pray with/for, fun with others where its easy.
Easy by the means of, I don't feel judged from head to toe, sentence to sentence. Going to a workout class, stuff for my work, I feel like an oddball, and I hate that. It's hard for me to get to know people, and in a setting outside of church, small group or the women's bible study, I get labeled and somewhat ostracized for my beliefs. Its safe at small group/church setting.
Sometimes, its just nice to feel free.
Entrusted with a Child's Heart.
I have felt this total shift in dealing with the kids daily, that control is lost, discipline is rampant, punishment is given, yet they never seem to care or feel the full weight of what was done was wrong, so learn from that and don't do it again. It's like running on a treadmill. We do the same stuff day in and out, but we never get anywhere. I'm frustrated and spent, kids are thinking they can do whatever they want, shouting, stomping, crying.. I feel like every day we lose a little more.. one step forward, 10 steps back.
Just hearing from some that have taken the study, I am so ready, and prepared for hurdles, to jump in. I want this family to turn around from the path and direction and get going the other direction-the RIGHT direction, GOD'S direction. I want us to be breathing the word of God and its just not happening now-but all that WILL change.
More to come on that for sure, as we delve into the study each week.
We are also going to be attending small group with other couples in the church, that starts tomorrow night.
Really looking forward to more fellowship with those that are like-minded, have the same goals. Or hey, how about just fellowship period. I'll be honest, we don't get out much. I have felt the need for accountability, a shoulder to share and pray with/for, fun with others where its easy.
Easy by the means of, I don't feel judged from head to toe, sentence to sentence. Going to a workout class, stuff for my work, I feel like an oddball, and I hate that. It's hard for me to get to know people, and in a setting outside of church, small group or the women's bible study, I get labeled and somewhat ostracized for my beliefs. Its safe at small group/church setting.
Sometimes, its just nice to feel free.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
A wonderful day
My friend is in town..yay!!
We visited them in Ohio not even a month ago, we speak weekly on the phone, but they are in town visiting family and I got to see her yesterday, let our kids play and we got to hang out and chat.. face to face.
With all the family and friends they have here, for her to be able to fit me in extra from the other times we have set up with everyone else, I feel very fortunate.
I don't have many friends. That makes me sound like a loser, maybe I am, but it's true.
I have two really close friends, who don't live close to me anymore. We still communicate, but having them in the same town would be more ideal than the situation as it is now. I have acquaintances, sure, but the friends who get you, know everything about you.. they live far away.
So she's here and I enjoyed my one on one time with her, catching up on the latest, laughing and talking about our joys and sorrows.
Our kids got soaked from head to toe in the water play, and we didn't care, sometimes its just nice to go with the flow.
It also helped the rest of the afternoon, with multiple soccer practices to get to, dinner to make, complaints on "whydowehavetohavespaghettiwewantedmeatloaf" when I know that if I'd made meatloaf I would have heard "whydowehavetohavemeatloafwewantedspaghetti"
I smiled and dished it, said you're welcome and didn't even care nor was I going to try to care, just thankful for the Lord's blessing on my day.
In other news-Labor day is Monday and once again my mom, sister and I have plans for new recipe's to try,every year we try some new, weird or different food/dessert/snack. Past few years have included:
We visited them in Ohio not even a month ago, we speak weekly on the phone, but they are in town visiting family and I got to see her yesterday, let our kids play and we got to hang out and chat.. face to face.
With all the family and friends they have here, for her to be able to fit me in extra from the other times we have set up with everyone else, I feel very fortunate.
I don't have many friends. That makes me sound like a loser, maybe I am, but it's true.
I have two really close friends, who don't live close to me anymore. We still communicate, but having them in the same town would be more ideal than the situation as it is now. I have acquaintances, sure, but the friends who get you, know everything about you.. they live far away.
So she's here and I enjoyed my one on one time with her, catching up on the latest, laughing and talking about our joys and sorrows.
Our kids got soaked from head to toe in the water play, and we didn't care, sometimes its just nice to go with the flow.
It also helped the rest of the afternoon, with multiple soccer practices to get to, dinner to make, complaints on "whydowehavetohavespaghettiwewantedmeatloaf" when I know that if I'd made meatloaf I would have heard "whydowehavetohavemeatloafwewantedspaghetti"
I smiled and dished it, said you're welcome and didn't even care nor was I going to try to care, just thankful for the Lord's blessing on my day.
In other news-Labor day is Monday and once again my mom, sister and I have plans for new recipe's to try,every year we try some new, weird or different food/dessert/snack. Past few years have included:
- Cotton Candy-total bust, wasn't soft in the least and was like chewing flavored glass, we will never attempt it again.
- Funnel cakes-completely delicious and is a new fave
- Mini corn dogs-kids loved them, was suprised how tasty they were, and easy to make, though not a food we eat a lot with all the fried-ness of it
- Root beer cookies
- Mozzarella sticks
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Music I'm singing
Avid music lover here-I have these songs in my heart lately.
I just love the fact that the name of Jesus is SO powerful
And this song just gives me complete goosebumps-words and music just move my Spirit to praise the One-the Only One who is worthy of Praise.
"You came down to find us, led us out of death"
Thank you Lord Jesus for saving me
I just love the fact that the name of Jesus is SO powerful
And this song just gives me complete goosebumps-words and music just move my Spirit to praise the One-the Only One who is worthy of Praise.
"You came down to find us, led us out of death"
Thank you Lord Jesus for saving me
Ella started preschool today
I really can't believe its that time already, and she, much like what Aubrey did when she went-ran out the door to get there as fast as possible. She said goodbye when we got in there and ran off like she's been going everyday for the last 4years.
Jaden yelled when we left, like why couldn't he stay too?
So he and I went shopping. I thought this would be the perfect time to get all my errands done-1 child-that almost never happens! Except now he hates the cart and proceeded to yell and scream as though I'd harmed him in some way. So while I only had 1 child-it felt like I had 4. The noise, the inability to remember what I came for, and the hurrying out to get away from the stares of those who probably came to Wal-mart during the 930am "quiet time".
Of which I didn't get the memo that there was a "quiet time".
Yesterday was a trying day so I planned this day to be easy. So after I dealt with that, spilled my bowl of cereal and later proceeded to spill half my lunch-on the floor. I'm considering quitting today.
I'll just skip to Tuesday please and thank you.
Jaden yelled when we left, like why couldn't he stay too?
So he and I went shopping. I thought this would be the perfect time to get all my errands done-1 child-that almost never happens! Except now he hates the cart and proceeded to yell and scream as though I'd harmed him in some way. So while I only had 1 child-it felt like I had 4. The noise, the inability to remember what I came for, and the hurrying out to get away from the stares of those who probably came to Wal-mart during the 930am "quiet time".
Of which I didn't get the memo that there was a "quiet time".
Yesterday was a trying day so I planned this day to be easy. So after I dealt with that, spilled my bowl of cereal and later proceeded to spill half my lunch-on the floor. I'm considering quitting today.
I'll just skip to Tuesday please and thank you.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Talk around the house..
"Mom..can we watch Cheese in the Dessert?"
(aka. Cheaper by the Dozen)
Ella- age 4
"Hey lets be the Chipheads!"
aka the Chipette's from Alvin and the Chipmunks-the squeakquel
Kaylyn- age 6
(aka. Cheaper by the Dozen)
Ella- age 4
"Hey lets be the Chipheads!"
aka the Chipette's from Alvin and the Chipmunks-the squeakquel
Kaylyn- age 6
The Three Little Heaters
Most of these summer mornings I've been waking up with someone's foot in my stomach, head on my back, hands on my face and I'm dripping in sweat.
Why?
Because my three girls feel the need to sometime in the night to come and "share" my bed.
Every night before bed I remind them to stay in their own beds, but every morning its the same.
Don't they understand what it means to me to have room to spread out?
To not be kicked in the stomach as they toss and turn?
To even have a COLD side of the pillow to turn over to?
Apparently not.
In the winter the three little heaters come in handy.. but in the heat of august.. no thanks.
Why?
Because my three girls feel the need to sometime in the night to come and "share" my bed.
Every night before bed I remind them to stay in their own beds, but every morning its the same.
Don't they understand what it means to me to have room to spread out?
To not be kicked in the stomach as they toss and turn?
To even have a COLD side of the pillow to turn over to?
Apparently not.
In the winter the three little heaters come in handy.. but in the heat of august.. no thanks.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Summer : The End
Well not officially till next Thursday, but I'm amazed its practically here.
Aubrey will be in 2nd, Kaylyn in 1st and Ella will attend preschool. They are all excited and can't wait to be starting. I, after the past few days, share their excitement as the bickering has increased and I'm way past over it.
We recently got back from a weeks long vacation in Ohio with our friends. We spent a day at Cedar Point, the NFL Hall of Fame, Science museum, the beach and some relaxing days just hanging out. It was so great being back with our friends once again, the time was too short, but I am grateful for the time we had.
Still trying to sell the house, though when our time is up with qcfsbo again we will not renew and will most likely wait the winter out before trying again. Its been so frustrating seeing house after house I loved sold, before we ever got our house on the market, and now not seeing anything we like, nor getting any interest on our own home.
sigh
Work has been good, keeping me busy, and I still enjoy it which is always a good thing. A few months ago I wouldn't hit the 10hr mark, and now I can't even get under it, and sometimes am over. 10 hours never sounded like much, but coupled with taking care of a home and family.. its amazing how much it adds to the busyness of life.
Josh and I recently went in to get our eyes checked, we both had glasses as kids, and only he came out needing a prescription. I'm pretty pleased about that!
Jaden is saying more and more words every day, it is so fun to hear him finally break out. I think the older sisters have made him feel like why would he ever need to talk/walk/do anything on my own? He's going to be 2 in December and that is crazy to think about!
Aubrey will be in 2nd, Kaylyn in 1st and Ella will attend preschool. They are all excited and can't wait to be starting. I, after the past few days, share their excitement as the bickering has increased and I'm way past over it.
We recently got back from a weeks long vacation in Ohio with our friends. We spent a day at Cedar Point, the NFL Hall of Fame, Science museum, the beach and some relaxing days just hanging out. It was so great being back with our friends once again, the time was too short, but I am grateful for the time we had.
Still trying to sell the house, though when our time is up with qcfsbo again we will not renew and will most likely wait the winter out before trying again. Its been so frustrating seeing house after house I loved sold, before we ever got our house on the market, and now not seeing anything we like, nor getting any interest on our own home.
sigh
Work has been good, keeping me busy, and I still enjoy it which is always a good thing. A few months ago I wouldn't hit the 10hr mark, and now I can't even get under it, and sometimes am over. 10 hours never sounded like much, but coupled with taking care of a home and family.. its amazing how much it adds to the busyness of life.
Josh and I recently went in to get our eyes checked, we both had glasses as kids, and only he came out needing a prescription. I'm pretty pleased about that!
Jaden is saying more and more words every day, it is so fun to hear him finally break out. I think the older sisters have made him feel like why would he ever need to talk/walk/do anything on my own? He's going to be 2 in December and that is crazy to think about!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Feeling lonely and sad. So much going on lately, I feel there is barely room to breathe. While I long for a slow down I think more so long for a break. It never fails to amaze me how when I get to this point, which happens every so often, God shows me how much my need is for more of Him. As much as I long for other things that I'll skip elaborating on.. it all boils down to the simple fact that I've ignored Him. All that I'm feeling, I've put Him through. All He wants is me.. my devotion, praise and a life aiming to glorify Him. I spend most of my time worrying about everyone else around me and of course me. I hate when I get to this point, its so tough to get through.. why don't I learn so I don't have to go through this anymore?
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Aaaand its summer
Last post it was fall.. nice.
Quick update of whats new at this point but not all that has gone on.. who really wants to read through 7 months of life... anyways. Right now we are trying to sell the house. Had our first open house today and only had a few come through. Didn't seem real interested but who can tell really.
Aubrey and Kaylyn are out of school and soon we will be heading out to Ohio to visit our friends.. can't wait!
We are basically spending the summer at the library and any other free events around town.
oh but this week is our anniversary-9 years- and Kaylyn's 6th birthday. .I always love a celebration and an excuse to get together as a family.
that is all.
Quick update of whats new at this point but not all that has gone on.. who really wants to read through 7 months of life... anyways. Right now we are trying to sell the house. Had our first open house today and only had a few come through. Didn't seem real interested but who can tell really.
Aubrey and Kaylyn are out of school and soon we will be heading out to Ohio to visit our friends.. can't wait!
We are basically spending the summer at the library and any other free events around town.
oh but this week is our anniversary-9 years- and Kaylyn's 6th birthday. .I always love a celebration and an excuse to get together as a family.
that is all.
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