Weightloss Journey

It's now July and I have been working intentionally on losing weight for 5 months now.
In the beginning it was a struggle to make the changes, but I got it going and saw fast results. I'm just about halfway(1 pound away!) from my goal weight and while I feel I have done well, I can still get down when I think about how much further I need to go. I can easily focus on all my problem areas, feel self-conscious about myself and how I look-and I need to constantly remind myself-that's not ALL its about.

My goal isn't to be skinny, my goal is to be healthy.

I am human though and I will admit that my horrible self-esteem has kept me from public pools. I'm not saying I don't have a slight panic attack before we head out to a pool, but I do have to get my mind in check and realize I didn't go to the pool for any other reason than to have fun with my family, my kids don't care what I look like-just that I'm there-playing with them.
I was out jogging (yes-still attempting the jogging-ha!) and was really about ready to quit, I mean so ready to be done I about called Josh to come pick me up. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a car slow and window roll down and thought..great, this person must think I'm dying and need assistance...when I heard her shout-"Yeah! Looking good! Keep going!"I recognized her as a parent from our kids school, I smiled, shouted a thanks and pressed on. The Lord knew I needed a push that morning and I was so surprised she would cheer me on, and I am SO thankful  for her encouragement, I finished well that day and she probably doesn't even know how much she helped me that day.
When you change your heart, you get a complete, long lasting change, when you only work on the surface, its temporal. I know I need to constantly keep myself in check, the way I do that is through prayer. I used to think that God wasn't interested in my weight. I don't think he cares about a size, but I do believe He cares about what I'm putting into and doing to my body. I've ruined mine with food and laziness, and with His mercy and strength,  I'm on the road to long lasting, healthy changes. Daily I have to ask for His strength regarding my food choices, to keep my mind in check, remembering this is a process and its not going to happen over night. Knowing that He will be with me every step of the way.

Divine Intervention

I've been working through a study by Priscilla Shirer on Jonah: Navigating a Life Interrupted. I didn't think about the title too much until the first week of study where we watched the video and I started to think about all the ways I'm interrupted: phone calls, work, kids, flat tires, etc. Nothing major, right? I got that uneasy feeling by the end of the night, I'm in this study for a reason, does that mean a bigger interruption is heading my way? I prayed that would not be the case and yet dug in to see what God wanted to teach me-whether interruption was coming or not.

I keep referring to it as interruptions, but what I'm currently focusing on is taking..whatever the circumstance is.. and attributing it to a Divine Intervention. Whether big or small, if I look at whatever the task at hand is, as from the Lord, my attitude will *hopefully* navigate towards the positive. Life needs balance and when a tiny kink, a medium sized wrench, or a giant boulder is thrown into my day, I get thrown off kilter. There is no balance or peace that can be compared to that which comes from the Lord.

The week our Divine Intervention came into our family she started the lesson with John 16:33

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world"

I love that my Bible has the red lettering for words that Jesus spoke, because especially that night, in that moment, reading those words was complete joy for my soul. Jesus spoke these words.. not that we might have tribulation.. that we WILL... and that He already had it covered. He has our back. He will give us peace.
She then took oranges, limes and a lemon and squeezed the juice out into a glass while speaking about Jonah getting a second chance, that God spoke to him a second time and she said..." only after we've been squeezed, can we be poured out and be a blessing to others"
Now I don't know what the blessing to others looks like in my life, but I do know.. I'm being squeezed, I hope and pray that somewhere in my life I will do as God asks and that my obedience will bless another and glorify Him.
I sat there that night just in awe of our God. How great and awesome He is, to speak to me. The Creator of the world would reach down, in my unworthiness, and speak..to me? He did, and He does-to all of us. He loves us so much and that love is amazing and I felt it that night and have tried to just seek Him out daily to get filled with the love that can only come from Him.  I don't enjoy being squeezed right now, being pushed to my limits emotionally, having my faith tested and tried, but another thing Priscilla said that gave me hope is that "the enemy will never push you into a place where you need God more" Oh how true that is-the enemy only wants to make my life turn from the Lord and into myself. This Divine Intervention has turned Josh and I to Him more and even though we could be in turmoil and fear-we have peace. Actually we even have joy. We are having fun, laughing, all the while being realistic about our situation, we know God has moved us to this place for a reason. 

The test is to be patient, be willing, and trust. 

While I know I've been vague on our Divine Intervention, I cannot share yet what that is. Soon I will be able to, and in the meantime, prayers are appreciated, mostly that Josh and I will be steadfast, listening to the Lord and have discernment over all of this.
Our journey of 2012 started with our health and we are still fervently working on this area, excited about the changes that are happening within this area of our lives and continuing on daily. I am almost to my halfway point to my goal weight, and the journey will continue for the rest of our lives as this isn't a one time deal, this is forever change. The rest of 2012 is a mystery, but we are leaving it in the capable hands of our Creator and will end with this, specifically for this situation,
2 Samuel 22:50 "For this I will praise you, o Lord, among the nations, and sing praises to your name"