So, I'm away from my family for a week long training for work. In theory this sounded like a good idea. Get extra training, *hopefully* get a certification, do much better at my job, and enjoy some time away.
In reality- I had major anxiety about leaving, especially the day of, I'm in the middle of my week now and miss my family SO much. I'm sitting in a classroom for 8 hours a day and though I'm trying to meet other people in class, I still feel so lonely.
I also have major guilt about leaving my family, feeling selfish and keep asking myself-what am I doing? Why am I doing this? My head knows I'm doing the right thing, my heart speaks volumes louder and I spend most of class time wondering how my kids are doing, I can't sleep wondering if anyone misses me and how much I miss their hugs and kisses.
Last week there was a media frenzy over a comment that was made about stay at home mom's. I kind of feel in the middle of a stay at home mom and working mom. My job is flexible that I can do it mostly from home, but there are weeks that I'm in the office 3-4 times a week, and then of course, now. I'm not even home. My job has taken me from home completely. I struggle with, is this right and good for my family? I feel I'm constantly evaluating the effect it has on my husband, kids, and the state of my house-which I imagine can't look too well at this moment in time. HA!
Every mom has to make the right choice for her family, and we need to not feel guilty about it. *I* need to stop feeling guilty about it! Now I'll say this to myself for the next 2 days and hopefully it will sink in??! :P
Even though I have to be away, I"m confident my husband is doing an amazing job with the kids-getitng in lots of Daddy time and getting to do lots of things I normally say no to. OH to be fly on the wall there!
Thank goodness for Skype I get to see my kiddos each night so that helps my heart -some.
