Boundaries-Choices

I've read the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend a few times now and its been life changing for me.
 Why have I read it multiple times? Well, basically because I am someone who needs things beat into my life, I can't just hear something do it, and change myself.  I take the "easy road". The road that looks pretty, safe, and simple. Yet as I walk it, I realize my mistake and as I reach to smell the rose on the lovely path, the thorn cuts, the dream fades and my eyes are opened to the fact that the pretty, safe, simple way is really an illusion.
 So I picked it up again after some unpleasant things went on and Josh and I both realized we have to fix the problem we keep having with some people. The book is just so good though, that it didn't just hit me in on area, it hit me in multiple areas.
 Currently I'm convicted on this one tiny paragraph on choices. It starts explaining on choices lead to the fruit of self-control(Galatians 5:3) The common problem with choices, it explains, is disowning them-laying them at someone else. They lay out how we use the words, "I had to", "She/he made me" when explaining why we did/didn't do something.

I do this all the time

Sad, embarrassing and true. Here's my best example. 

"Hey Josh, we're going to have to go out to eat tonight, pick something up and bring it home. I got caught up with work today, the kids were awful, I had extra errands to run, I'm cramping, I'm tired, I didn't start the dishwasher and well, basically, we have no groceries either." 

True story.

I've made about 50 bad choices in exchange for not making my family a meal, then blamed it on my family, my work, my body... the list goes on.  I'm realizing I make a lot of bad choices, excuse or blame them away and hardly ever take responsibility for them or even come close to changing them. 

Paul in Romans 8:13 explains it very simply how our choices can have dire consequences-, if we choose to live by the Spirit, we will live, if we choose to follow our sinful nature, we will die. 

One of many things I need to work on this year, rather, every day, to change this behavior around and get rid of it. 

I know it isn't going to be easy, I'm not particularly looking forward to it, but I know I will be a better me once I can conquer this sin in my life. 

Black Friday Shopping Tips

I L-O-V-E shopping on Black Friday.

Why?

Oh just let me tell you!

Ok, first, I honestly can't stand crowds, they make me anxious and usually its just not fun. I've found a few ways to get over that feeling, at least for one day or few short hours I go into the madness.  I learn more every year as I go out so here are some tips I have to share from my personal experience.

Rules: Each store has them, the time they open, the line you have to stand in, the time you can actually purchase your items. The best way to find out the rules is to ask the store the week of, or read all the fine print in the ad that comes in the paper on Thursday morning. Each store will do it differently. For example, last year Wal-Mart allowed you to come in to shop by midnight, but you weren't allowed to purchase or even take the item until 4a.m. We got in line for a ticket for the item(ours was a flat screen t.v.) at midnight and then you wait until 4a.m. to actually pay for it. One year the first 100 people got a $10 gift card for Sear's, but you had to go to a specific door to actually get it. Another thing to note is, even though you might know exactly where your item will be, electronics, toys, etc. they most likely will not be on that shelf. Most stores will have it out on a pallet and will move other merchandise to make a row of pallets for these things.  If it is a small electronic item,it is possible it will be locked and you will have to ask a clerk to get it for you. Sometimes stores will hand out a map of where the specific pallet may be so you don't run around and miss it, other stores like for everyone to run around like idiots anyway and let you guess where it might be.Always bring the ad for the store with you-should the store decide to change a price or you want to show someone exactly what you are talking about-BRING THE AD!!

Lines: There will be lines, be prepared for the longest line waiting of your life. Before you get in the store, for the item you want, and for actually purchasing your items. Do not EVER cut in line. For the obvious reason its just rude, especially to those who have been freezing or have had no sleep get to where they are in line, jumping in when the door opens can cause people to go mad, I have seen people get punched and pushed for cutting in line. Also, most stores have security guards or even cops, and they will take you away or arrest you if you cut in line-its grade school but its not joke. I know you're laughing, but I'm telling you-its the way it is!!

Time: Black Friday actually doesn't even just happen on Friday anymore, stores are opening at 10pm on Thursday now even so again, check with the store and the ads to find out when it opens. Depending on how badly you want the item or the store you are going to is how you factor what time you actually go to the store to wait. If Toys R Us opens at midnight, you can guarantee that people will being showing up at 10, maybe even 9pm,ok let's face it people might just start eating their Thanksgiving dinner's in line!  One year I went to get a couple of Barbie's that  were going to be in the price range of $2, a midnight only deal. I drove up there at 10pm and found that if I wanted a parking spot-I'd be walking from the mall, Northpark mall-the surrounding lots were FULL, I wasn't going to do that for a barbie, sometimes you just have to weigh the importance of the item. This year Wal-Mart is open at 10pm, I have no idea what time the items will go on sale but a 2hr time cushion might be wise if you think it might be something that will sell quickly.

Children: Do not bring your children to Black Friday, teenagers are one thing-they can handle themselves, but your baby's *ok, if you are breastfeeding and are carrying your baby in a moby wrap/cling you are ok*  toddler's or children under teen years. I repeat DO NOT BRING YOUR CHILDREN. It's no place for them, if it were a movie I'd rate it "R"  It's potentially dangerous, the language can be a bit much from people who are sleepy or are getting angry,there is always a possibility of violence, and sometimes, there are just questionable people out late at night! Now that's just for your children's sake. For you and those around you, still, DO NOT BRING YOUR CHILDREN. Adults barely have the patience to stand in line sometimes and you want to bring your child? No. They will hate it, they will whine, get hungry, thirsty, cry and have to go to the bathroom, as much as I love children and others do-we don't want to hear whining. Get a family member, friend or babysitter to sleep at your house so your adorable children can sleep at home, warm, safe and peaceful.

Clothing: It's November, and you potentially will be waiting outside for 2hrs. You want to dress warmly, but you also need to remember that later you will be waiting in line for 2hrs inside. Layer up well, especially on your feet, standing still for a long time out in the cold is the worst on the toes! Now, whether you pay in cash, check or credit card will depend on what you wear-really-here's why. Carrying your purse is fine, especially if someone cuts in line and you need to smack someone with it(which I would never do but lets say you might need to)it can come in handy, but sometimes it slows you down and with all the shoving to get in the door I worry someone is actually stealing my life away from me during this time. So, if you can carry your purse on your arm INSIDE your coat-that might be safer. If your coat has pockets on the inside consider a small wallet and put the essentials  in it only. Essentials being, credit card, debit card, check, cash, driver's license, and/or store credit card. Extra pockets in your clothing or coat are also helpful for breakfast items, such as an apple or granola bar, don't bring a water bottle unless you are a camel and can hold it in your body for 4 hours. Did you not read my paragraph above on lines? This is serious people! Getting out of line is risking every point of getting up early or losing sleep that night!

Attitude: It all depends on you. If staying up late or getting up early makes you grouchy-check your attitude at the door or stay home. Like I said earlier-people are serious about these sales-they will get ugly with you over the smallest offense. It's sad but true. I've learned to ignore the rudeness and have fun. Yup, you heard me. JUST HAVE FUN! The world isn't going to end if you don't get that flat screen T.V. or a $2 Barbie. It's no doubt disappointing, but its just stuff and we can't take it with us. It's fun to have, and even better to get it cheap(er) but its not worth fighting someone over it and getting arrested. Nothing ruins the day for me more than seeing people get ugly over stuff and hurting someone else in the process. Make it fun, go with family or friends and spread out to help each other get what you want. Meet new people in line around you and enjoy the time you are out shopping for others-or yourself!

Maybe I'll see some of you out there this year?
Good luck, and may the best shopper win.

Trust

Not a lot to actually say, just need an outlet.

Something God is teaching me is trust. I would normally say I totally trust God in all things. His plan, His ways, I mean-why wouldn't I? Not trust the creator of the universe? The Author of my days, my every breath?
Fact is He is revealing to me that I don't trust Him as I should.

It seems the visual everyone likes to use for trust is where you have 2-4 people stand across from each other, locking arms. Then you, the one who is displaying what trust looks like, falls backward into the locked arms.

Trust. I trust you will catch me, hold me, keep me safe.

In the core of my being, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I can trust God. The real question is, do I live like I trust Him?

There isn't one speck of my life that God doesn't already know everything about. So why I don't go to Him first, and lay it His feet? (control)

Yea.. control freak here. I like to know what's going on, what will happen next, when I don't know-I try harder to know, control and eventually take over.
When I see my kids doing things they shouldn't be-doing things that are just too big for them to do yet-i.e. pouring a full gallon of milk into a tiny bowl of cereal.

Big.Mess. 

In my frustration I throw my hands up and back down at my side-"what in the world are you doing? You can't do that, that's too hard for you, you  need to ask for help next time"
I picture God the same way-looking at me thinking-"you should've asked for help with that." 
In some cases, the milk will still spill-but what will my attitude look like. Will I be frustrated and trip in my own mistake? Or will I clean up the mess and press on, because my trust is in the correct place?

Trusting Him completely-its my current work in progress.

No Place Like Home

Last weekend we drove 4 1/2 hours away to my brother in law's wedding(husband's brother). We drove a short ways on the interstate then hopped through many highways to get to the tiny little town of Pocahontas, Iowa. I don't know the history of this place, I probably should look it up, but there isn't a whole lot to offer there. There is a giant statue of Pocahontas though, and my girls were pretty fascinated with her.

 We got there Friday, a few hours before the rehearsal was to start and were able to get settled in the Bed and Breakfast that was set up by the mother of the bride. We were very thankful that she put us up with everyone else as it was close(10 steps) to where the wedding and reception were being held. I had looked this place up online, asked others about it and wasn't able to find much, so I was slightly worried, OK fine, I was a total snob and figured the place to be a back woodsy dump. Sorry, I know, its awful but true.
We get there and I knew the place for the wedding and reception would be held in a barn, the B&B looked like a log cabin. We go inside and I'm pleasantly surprised to see that it is clean and comfortable. Nothing gross about it. We had almost the whole upstairs for our family, a sitting room with a fridge, table, three beds in our room and our own bathroom.
So we settle in and spend some time with family before the rehearsal is to start. They warn us about the owner of the B&B, and we all laugh, I'm thinking my brother in law is exaggerating, which he is good at and getting a laugh out of us.
That is, until we walked into the barn. Actually we hadn't even stepped into the barn, we only had opened the door and before we ever see anyone we hear her....with a gravelly voice and probably one step away from one of those voice box thingies... DON'T LEAVE THAT DOOR OPEN! SHUT THAT DOOR BEFORE YOU LET THE FLIES IN!

We hurry our children in and shut the door, although we all were a little bewildered and unsure if any of us really wanted to go in that door at all, we should've slammed it shut-and ran-alas, we didn't and in we went.
She comes over to introduce herself as the owner of the B&B, did we find our rooms and make sure to keep the door closed.  As she is rattling off her list of rules one of my daughter's leaned down on a folding chair, tipped it back and set it down again but before it ever hit the floor "DON'T MOVE THE CHAIRS!!!"
My poor daughter was so scared she burst into tears which didn't seem to phase the lady one bit.
Really? You own a B&B? You have guests stay-and they actually stay-shouldn't you have better people skills to be in this line of work? Just a thought-good PR and all...?

Next we headed out to the town's legion hall and had dinner with both families, Josh got to see many Uncles, Aunts and cousin's that he hadn't seen in years. Everyone ate, drank, talked, drank, watched a slide show of pictures, drank, cleaned up, drank, and figured out who was driving who home.

We get back to the B&B, no sight of the Scary Lady and put our kids to bed. Came back down to Bride and Groom's sitting room to find lots of cousin's had come out and everyone drank and sat around talking for the next 3 hours. Well, Josh and I being the old people of the room checked out at 1230, everyone else stayed and drank for who knows how much longer, I've never lived in a frat house-but I'm guessing that's what one looks like-and smells like-with as much alcohol was in that place.

Wedding day started out uneventful, it was an afternoon wedding so relaxing morning turned into crazy afternoon. My youngest two were in the wedding, along with Josh, so we got them ready before the rest of us. It was a very nice and short wedding. Jaden and Ella did amazing-walked up and back down without a hitch-they were just too cute! I think my favorite part of the weekend was watching Jaden with the bride's uncle and grandpa. They  seemed to become fast friends, high five's and fist bumps turned into smiles on cue from Jaden. That also turned into, gum by the packetful and pennies, dimes and quarter's "coming out of Jaden's ears" So much so that I had to empty his pockets periodically-I think he made $3! Still if you ask him now what is in his ears, he will tell you " Pennies!"

Later after the dinner everyone was dancing and drinking from the flowing keg, at least tonight, most didn't have to drive home-just stumble across the 10 steps it took from the barn to the B&B.
I, of course, had to take the kids back to the room much earlier than the party ever ended-that's where I wish I would've had a babysitter with us! I bummed around in the room from 1030 until 100am where some of the other B&B residents were starting to stumble in. Some fighting started going on-I stepped out to see what it was and realized I didn't want in the middle of it, waited till Josh was done helping clean up at 130 and watched as everyone piled into the Bride and Groom's sitting room, yet again, for more drinking.
Really wouldn't be my way of spending my wedding night, but apparently they didn't mind. Josh and I finally left them and I still heard shouting going on until around 3a.m. Thankfully my kids slept through it all and woke up bright eyed at 730, awesome, thanks kids!

Driving home we had trouble with the van and had to stop at one point to check things out-thought it was the transmission actually, and had to take it pretty slow for awhile-very frustrating when you are 30 minutes from home and Josh had to go to work in 60 minutes. We made it home safely though and happy that the weekend was over. There really is no place like home.

Parking Wars

We live across from 4 apartment complexes. Our street isn't a main road, but its a shortcut and is pretty busy. There are garages and a parking lot  for the apartments but the street becomes the parking lot for most.

Our driveway is a single lane drive,  on the medium to long side-it goes past the house to the detached garage in our backyard-it also cuts off to the left and you are able to park two cars but getting them out isn't easy.

You can see where I'm going with this....

So, since Josh is at work at night, the street parking in front of our house is filled, when he gets home in the morning, he has to park behind the van in the driveway so I can't get out-or park at least 3 houses down.

There are two vehicles that are consistently parked in front of our house-not sure why they like this spot? Josh has asked them repeatedly to park elsewhere or at least leave on spot for him to park. They refuse and things have gotten ugly.

If they happen to be gone-which for some reason they don't leave their apartment much? Josh parks there. When he leaves for work-they know. They have been watching from their apartment, and will come out and move their vehicles to park in front of our house.

As a mom with children by myself at night-this creeps me out.

A few weeks ago the kids and I were sitting in our living room, reading books and waiting for a pizza to be delivered, Josh was sleeping-it was a few hours before he had to leave for work. I look out the window and notice that "Red Truck Guy"(Josh calls them Dumb and Dumber but I refer to them by their vehicles :P) has come out to his vehicle which happens to be parked in front of Josh's truck. I see him stand and stare, then proceed to walk the length of Josh's truck and back, then get in his vehicle and speed off.  Because Red Truck Guy has gotten in Josh's face and they both had a shouting match, I won't deal directly with him, the childish ways and weird behavior is enough to make me stay away.So after he drives off, I go out and look at Josh's truck to find it has nice key scratch all the way down.
I let Josh know and he is furious. He talks to the people who own the apartments and they refuse to do anything, our word against theirs. Awesome.

Another week or two passes by and Josh had to unload stuff from the truck to the garage, I parked the van in the street in front of our house. Josh leaves for work, I don't even remember that the van is in the street and it stayed there all night.
The kids and I head out early to the farmer's market the next morning and I get in to drive after buckling everyone and look in my driver's side mirror to see if I can pull out into the street-and see that my mirror is cracked.
I can't prove that Red Truck Guy did this, but I'm thinking.. if a car drove down the street and hit my mirror-wouldn't there be more damage then just the mirror being cracked-like- the whole mirror would be hanging by the wire? It looks like someone drove a nail  or some sharp object and just hit it to break it.
Another thought-how is it that Red Truck Guy and Son with White Camaro can park their vehicles in front of our house, day after day, night after night, and never suffer any trouble?
An annoying coincidence or foul play?

Today is a day...

that started with a troubling phone call. Nothing major-work issue-but one that puzzles me and that I wish to go fix, but the day is too packed to even try. So I have to let it go for today.

Then when I go to take my girls to school, and because we are later than normal, we got stuck in the usual traffic jam of 4 lanes of traffic, one bus that is stuck in the middle, kids darting through moving cars and we are at the back. I park the van in the middle of the road, obviously no one is moving, go around get the girls out, and walk them safely to the sidewalk of the school.. come back to the van to see that one of my precious girls has unbuckled Jaden and he is running amok in the van. I catch and buckle him, get in and of course, now traffic is moving and I'm getting honked at. I start to move and notice something odd about Aubrey..something she has yet to notice.
Her backpack is still in the van.  So like the ever calm mom that I am, I roll the window down and...
"AUBREY-YOU FORGOT YOUR BACKPACK GET BACK HERE AND GET IT!"
She comes and we've blocked traffic twice now and the little dears are finally hurrying off to school.

Next phase comes when I get home to grab water bottles, snacks, toys, socks and shoes Jaden and I can go to Stroller Strides. I *think* I get it all and we head out and drive down the road-only to realize-I'm still wearing flip flops. So we turn around go back home so I can get my socks and shoes ,and head back out. I'm 5 minutes from the park when I look down at my coolant levels. I never look at it, I can only attest the fact that I looked at it to God. You know that Holy Spirit nudging? So thankful for that! I keep an eye on it until we park and call Josh to see if he can bring some water and coolant. He's working but call when I'm done.
I do the grueling class in the heat for an hour and start the van, looks good.
We start driving and it shoots up to HOT. The light comes on, its ringing at me, I'm expecting it to smoke.. or burst into flames movie style, any minute.
Thankfully I was able to pull it in quickly stop and shut it off. Also thankfully, my mom was nearby so she took Jaden  back home to be cool and I sat in the shade until Josh came and filled everything up, was able to drive home and all is well.
I have 45minutes to eat lunch and shower before I have to pick up kids at this point because its a two hour early out for extreme heat. We had two extra kids today and it was-mass chaos-you could tell it was Friday. Everyone was just insanely crazy and I am just glad the day is finally over.
These long stressful days are a great reminder to enjoy those days I have nothing to do and soak it in as much as I can-not feeling guilty in the least for it either! Now.. when I can see about getting me one of those days sometime soon here....

Political Correctness "PC"

Are you "PC"?

Do you speak it?

Probably do more than we even realize in this day and age. The culture as become that of one that takes great offense in any aspect that pertains to it.

We "have" to use certain words to describe certain people, ways of living, or organizations so as not to offend. As soon as you offend someone, that person usually, cry's foul.  You can count on a number of organizations coming to that person's aid, lawsuits may happen, etc.

Is this the kind of people we want to be? Do we want to be overly sensitive to everything others think or say?
One of Josh and I's favorite comedians, Brad Stine, talks about being "PC", or the lack of. Because you know how you stop being "PC"? You just don't do it.  Someone says"You've offended me"  You say " I don't care.. game over.. I win" Put a helmet on.. and slam it down tight!
He does a bit about Oversensitive Witches that you should watch.
There's a point where being sensitive to other's feelings, having manners, and letting all sense go out the window to save someone from their "feeling offended"

There are so many news stories about that one person that is offended by a Cross, the Ten Commandments, "Under God" in our pledge of allegiance, praying in schools, on and on, and that one person that is offended, gets what the want and the majority that want all the above listed-have to bow to one person's feelings. 
If this is truly America, Land of the Free, why do we change so much for one person? Can that one person just not look at the Cross as he/she drives by it? Not read the Ten Commandments? Chose not to say, "under God" or to pray.. and let the rest of us participate in our freedoms to DO SO?

Why is one person's freedom and feeling's more important than another? All men are created equal unless you are a Christian and make me feel inferior and offended, then I will cry foul and get my way. 

I will teach my kids manners, to be respectful, kind and  caring to one another, but I certainly won't be teaching them to be "PC", most of all I will teach them to stand up for what they believe in regardless of it being popular.
Are you "PC"?