While I sat freezing in my chair at the soccer fields today, waiting for the games to start, I was thinking on some stuff I'd heard someone say and generally the gist was about God, who He is, what they believe about Him.
What do I believe?
I believe God was, is and always will be.
He is The Creator.
His ways are perfect.
He is infallible.
There is so much more to say about Him, I could go on literally forever, but basically what I'm trying to say is I believe there is none greater than Him.
All of that to say, when I started to think about Him, in all His reverence, I started to get convicted.
So I believe what His word, the Bible, tells me, but how do I apply that? How am I making Him a part of my every day life? Most importantly, is He first in my life?
If I want to be completely honest, I'd have to say no, He isn't right now.
I'm pained to admit that.
How is it that I've fallen so quickly and easily to the ways of the "ME".
Making sure I'm comfortable, and yet, I'm not completely comfortable. I feel the pull of spirit against flesh. My selfishness against His desires. How does a friend become a best friend? You spend time with them, get to know them. God knows all about me, but do I know all about Him? I"m sure if I did I wouldn't even need to ask the question.
Women's Bible study has started at church, we are now in a small group, and lots of time is spent with the girl's to memorize their verses for AWANA.
Memory verses.
The two words that strike an instant response in me. I grumble and complain.. I can't. It's too much to learn the girl's verses, verses for both Bible studies.
Is it really too much or am I just being lazy?
Lazy wins.
How better to know God, than to know His Word. To strengthen my walk with Him. To strike the enemy down with the armor of God.
Nothing is more powerful.
My walk with the Lord has been up and down, and while I'm more in the down position at the moment, my desire is to climb back up. Day by day. Minute by minute if need be.
And I will memorize my verses.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
One of those days...
Today can definitely be classified as "one of those days"
Didn't get much sleep last night. We've had trouble with Aubrey staying asleep, in her bed lately. Last night was no different other than the fact that she did say her head hurt, but I hear so many excuses like that I sleepily blew her off and made her go back to her own bed quite a few times.
When it was finally an acceptable hour I got myself to wake up more and figure out if the complaints had merit.
She had a fever of 102.
As much as I wanted to give a lecture about crying wolf, I couldn't. So I got the Tylenol, the bottle of water, and snuggled her up in her bed while I got everyone else ready for the day.
Today was also bible study at the church for me and I went back and forth on whether to forget it or see if Josh would willingly stay up so I could go(he doesn't work tonight so its not unheard of for him to stay up on Tuesday's-just in case you think me heartless :P)
He said he plenty of outside work to do so for me to go and he would care for Aubrey.
I still felt guilty about leaving her.
While dropping off Kaylyn and Ella at school I realized I had book fair duty today-one hour after bible study.
So I get out of church, race to pick up Ella, get home, get lunch, see Aubrey and Josh grabs the flashlight to check her throat-shows me the dreaded white spots.
So as I scarf lunch I sit on hold with the dr.'s office to get her in, have to leave so hand it off to Josh and get all the updates via text.
Once again, feeling guilty.
Josh takes her in and she does in fact have strep.
I feel more guilty.
Kaylyn and I go home from school, and now its the dinner rush.
Knock, knock!
Our backyard neighbor asks if I noticed the back side of their fence. Well, no I say, because it sits behind our garage so I can't say I've ever seen it. Well, my daughter and her friend's name are all over it.. in chalk. They were out there last night, so I'm none too happy, and neither is the neighbor. I let her know it will get cleaned up and grab a bucket and towel. No hose will stretch back that far, and the daughter is sick, so I'm up to bat on this one.
yay.
So I finish that lovely task, finish dinner, clean up, get everyone ready for AWANA and send Kaylyn and Ella with Josh.
I can tell you without hesitation I swapped my clothes for pjs and set out to do the rest of the cleaning and am now enjoying a piece of key lime pie while writing this and listening to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in the background.
Apparently while you are sick you watch Christmas movies.
Good night.
Didn't get much sleep last night. We've had trouble with Aubrey staying asleep, in her bed lately. Last night was no different other than the fact that she did say her head hurt, but I hear so many excuses like that I sleepily blew her off and made her go back to her own bed quite a few times.
When it was finally an acceptable hour I got myself to wake up more and figure out if the complaints had merit.
She had a fever of 102.
As much as I wanted to give a lecture about crying wolf, I couldn't. So I got the Tylenol, the bottle of water, and snuggled her up in her bed while I got everyone else ready for the day.
Today was also bible study at the church for me and I went back and forth on whether to forget it or see if Josh would willingly stay up so I could go(he doesn't work tonight so its not unheard of for him to stay up on Tuesday's-just in case you think me heartless :P)
He said he plenty of outside work to do so for me to go and he would care for Aubrey.
I still felt guilty about leaving her.
While dropping off Kaylyn and Ella at school I realized I had book fair duty today-one hour after bible study.
So I get out of church, race to pick up Ella, get home, get lunch, see Aubrey and Josh grabs the flashlight to check her throat-shows me the dreaded white spots.
So as I scarf lunch I sit on hold with the dr.'s office to get her in, have to leave so hand it off to Josh and get all the updates via text.
Once again, feeling guilty.
Josh takes her in and she does in fact have strep.
I feel more guilty.
Kaylyn and I go home from school, and now its the dinner rush.
Knock, knock!
Our backyard neighbor asks if I noticed the back side of their fence. Well, no I say, because it sits behind our garage so I can't say I've ever seen it. Well, my daughter and her friend's name are all over it.. in chalk. They were out there last night, so I'm none too happy, and neither is the neighbor. I let her know it will get cleaned up and grab a bucket and towel. No hose will stretch back that far, and the daughter is sick, so I'm up to bat on this one.
yay.
So I finish that lovely task, finish dinner, clean up, get everyone ready for AWANA and send Kaylyn and Ella with Josh.
I can tell you without hesitation I swapped my clothes for pjs and set out to do the rest of the cleaning and am now enjoying a piece of key lime pie while writing this and listening to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in the background.
Apparently while you are sick you watch Christmas movies.
Good night.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
New Bible Study
Started a new Bible Study today at church, I'm really feeling that this was for me, at exactly this moment in time.
Entrusted with a Child's Heart.
I have felt this total shift in dealing with the kids daily, that control is lost, discipline is rampant, punishment is given, yet they never seem to care or feel the full weight of what was done was wrong, so learn from that and don't do it again. It's like running on a treadmill. We do the same stuff day in and out, but we never get anywhere. I'm frustrated and spent, kids are thinking they can do whatever they want, shouting, stomping, crying.. I feel like every day we lose a little more.. one step forward, 10 steps back.
Just hearing from some that have taken the study, I am so ready, and prepared for hurdles, to jump in. I want this family to turn around from the path and direction and get going the other direction-the RIGHT direction, GOD'S direction. I want us to be breathing the word of God and its just not happening now-but all that WILL change.
More to come on that for sure, as we delve into the study each week.
We are also going to be attending small group with other couples in the church, that starts tomorrow night.
Really looking forward to more fellowship with those that are like-minded, have the same goals. Or hey, how about just fellowship period. I'll be honest, we don't get out much. I have felt the need for accountability, a shoulder to share and pray with/for, fun with others where its easy.
Easy by the means of, I don't feel judged from head to toe, sentence to sentence. Going to a workout class, stuff for my work, I feel like an oddball, and I hate that. It's hard for me to get to know people, and in a setting outside of church, small group or the women's bible study, I get labeled and somewhat ostracized for my beliefs. Its safe at small group/church setting.
Sometimes, its just nice to feel free.
Entrusted with a Child's Heart.
I have felt this total shift in dealing with the kids daily, that control is lost, discipline is rampant, punishment is given, yet they never seem to care or feel the full weight of what was done was wrong, so learn from that and don't do it again. It's like running on a treadmill. We do the same stuff day in and out, but we never get anywhere. I'm frustrated and spent, kids are thinking they can do whatever they want, shouting, stomping, crying.. I feel like every day we lose a little more.. one step forward, 10 steps back.
Just hearing from some that have taken the study, I am so ready, and prepared for hurdles, to jump in. I want this family to turn around from the path and direction and get going the other direction-the RIGHT direction, GOD'S direction. I want us to be breathing the word of God and its just not happening now-but all that WILL change.
More to come on that for sure, as we delve into the study each week.
We are also going to be attending small group with other couples in the church, that starts tomorrow night.
Really looking forward to more fellowship with those that are like-minded, have the same goals. Or hey, how about just fellowship period. I'll be honest, we don't get out much. I have felt the need for accountability, a shoulder to share and pray with/for, fun with others where its easy.
Easy by the means of, I don't feel judged from head to toe, sentence to sentence. Going to a workout class, stuff for my work, I feel like an oddball, and I hate that. It's hard for me to get to know people, and in a setting outside of church, small group or the women's bible study, I get labeled and somewhat ostracized for my beliefs. Its safe at small group/church setting.
Sometimes, its just nice to feel free.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
A wonderful day
My friend is in town..yay!!
We visited them in Ohio not even a month ago, we speak weekly on the phone, but they are in town visiting family and I got to see her yesterday, let our kids play and we got to hang out and chat.. face to face.
With all the family and friends they have here, for her to be able to fit me in extra from the other times we have set up with everyone else, I feel very fortunate.
I don't have many friends. That makes me sound like a loser, maybe I am, but it's true.
I have two really close friends, who don't live close to me anymore. We still communicate, but having them in the same town would be more ideal than the situation as it is now. I have acquaintances, sure, but the friends who get you, know everything about you.. they live far away.
So she's here and I enjoyed my one on one time with her, catching up on the latest, laughing and talking about our joys and sorrows.
Our kids got soaked from head to toe in the water play, and we didn't care, sometimes its just nice to go with the flow.
It also helped the rest of the afternoon, with multiple soccer practices to get to, dinner to make, complaints on "whydowehavetohavespaghettiwewantedmeatloaf" when I know that if I'd made meatloaf I would have heard "whydowehavetohavemeatloafwewantedspaghetti"
I smiled and dished it, said you're welcome and didn't even care nor was I going to try to care, just thankful for the Lord's blessing on my day.
In other news-Labor day is Monday and once again my mom, sister and I have plans for new recipe's to try,every year we try some new, weird or different food/dessert/snack. Past few years have included:
We visited them in Ohio not even a month ago, we speak weekly on the phone, but they are in town visiting family and I got to see her yesterday, let our kids play and we got to hang out and chat.. face to face.
With all the family and friends they have here, for her to be able to fit me in extra from the other times we have set up with everyone else, I feel very fortunate.
I don't have many friends. That makes me sound like a loser, maybe I am, but it's true.
I have two really close friends, who don't live close to me anymore. We still communicate, but having them in the same town would be more ideal than the situation as it is now. I have acquaintances, sure, but the friends who get you, know everything about you.. they live far away.
So she's here and I enjoyed my one on one time with her, catching up on the latest, laughing and talking about our joys and sorrows.
Our kids got soaked from head to toe in the water play, and we didn't care, sometimes its just nice to go with the flow.
It also helped the rest of the afternoon, with multiple soccer practices to get to, dinner to make, complaints on "whydowehavetohavespaghettiwewantedmeatloaf" when I know that if I'd made meatloaf I would have heard "whydowehavetohavemeatloafwewantedspaghetti"
I smiled and dished it, said you're welcome and didn't even care nor was I going to try to care, just thankful for the Lord's blessing on my day.
In other news-Labor day is Monday and once again my mom, sister and I have plans for new recipe's to try,every year we try some new, weird or different food/dessert/snack. Past few years have included:
- Cotton Candy-total bust, wasn't soft in the least and was like chewing flavored glass, we will never attempt it again.
- Funnel cakes-completely delicious and is a new fave
- Mini corn dogs-kids loved them, was suprised how tasty they were, and easy to make, though not a food we eat a lot with all the fried-ness of it
- Root beer cookies
- Mozzarella sticks
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Music I'm singing
Avid music lover here-I have these songs in my heart lately.
I just love the fact that the name of Jesus is SO powerful
And this song just gives me complete goosebumps-words and music just move my Spirit to praise the One-the Only One who is worthy of Praise.
"You came down to find us, led us out of death"
Thank you Lord Jesus for saving me
I just love the fact that the name of Jesus is SO powerful
And this song just gives me complete goosebumps-words and music just move my Spirit to praise the One-the Only One who is worthy of Praise.
"You came down to find us, led us out of death"
Thank you Lord Jesus for saving me
Ella started preschool today
I really can't believe its that time already, and she, much like what Aubrey did when she went-ran out the door to get there as fast as possible. She said goodbye when we got in there and ran off like she's been going everyday for the last 4years.
Jaden yelled when we left, like why couldn't he stay too?
So he and I went shopping. I thought this would be the perfect time to get all my errands done-1 child-that almost never happens! Except now he hates the cart and proceeded to yell and scream as though I'd harmed him in some way. So while I only had 1 child-it felt like I had 4. The noise, the inability to remember what I came for, and the hurrying out to get away from the stares of those who probably came to Wal-mart during the 930am "quiet time".
Of which I didn't get the memo that there was a "quiet time".
Yesterday was a trying day so I planned this day to be easy. So after I dealt with that, spilled my bowl of cereal and later proceeded to spill half my lunch-on the floor. I'm considering quitting today.
I'll just skip to Tuesday please and thank you.
Jaden yelled when we left, like why couldn't he stay too?
So he and I went shopping. I thought this would be the perfect time to get all my errands done-1 child-that almost never happens! Except now he hates the cart and proceeded to yell and scream as though I'd harmed him in some way. So while I only had 1 child-it felt like I had 4. The noise, the inability to remember what I came for, and the hurrying out to get away from the stares of those who probably came to Wal-mart during the 930am "quiet time".
Of which I didn't get the memo that there was a "quiet time".
Yesterday was a trying day so I planned this day to be easy. So after I dealt with that, spilled my bowl of cereal and later proceeded to spill half my lunch-on the floor. I'm considering quitting today.
I'll just skip to Tuesday please and thank you.
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